


Erased and Forgotten

by theArcane



Series: Destiel AUs/Oneshots [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Canon Rewrite, Canonical Character Death, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Crying Dean Winchester, Despair, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Happy Ending, Hurt, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Jack Kline as God, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, POV Castiel (Supernatural), Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Rewrite, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Season/Series 15, Spoilers for Carry On, Spoilers for Episode: s15e18 Despair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28737324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theArcane/pseuds/theArcane
Summary: "What if instead of Castiel having to relive his memories, the empty made him invisible? And he has to watch as the world continued on without him and no one can hear his screams. That was his punishment."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel AUs/Oneshots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071791
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	Erased and Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HeavenlyDemons2002](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenlyDemons2002/gifts).



> Get ready for tears :)

"Goodbye Dean." Cas smiles at the beautiful man in front of him. _He was ready._ He pushes him away. He has to get him out of the way. 

He sees Dean hit the wall, Cas' hand printed on his shoulder - his last gift to the man he loves.   
And then there was nothing. Only a black mass, coming close to him, engulfing him. He doesn't see Dean anymore, but it's okay. He closes his eyes. _Dean's face will be the last thing imprinted on his mind as he goes to sleep forever._

And as suddenly as it came, it's gone. The Empty isn't here anymore and he is still standing in the bunker. Dean was sitting against the wall, his face buried in his hands. _What just happened?_

"Dean!" Cas called out, immediately rushing over to his distressed love. Dean was silently crying. Cas has never seen him this broken before. 

Dean doesn't look up. His whole body is shaking with his sobs, but he _doesn't_ look up. 

"Dean!" Cas calls out again,kneeling beside him. He was afraid to touch Dean again. He looked too fragile, too broken. 

Dean finally, finally looks up, and Cas smiles at him. But the hunter isn't looking at him. He is staring at his phone, which was blaring with a single name on it- _Sam_. 

But Dean doesn't pick it up. He slides it to _reject_ and looks up, tears swimming in his eyes. Cas wonders why was he behaving like this. _Did Cas scare him so much with his words? Did he make Dean retreat back into himself?_ He is too afraid to call out his name again.

Cas takes a step back, disgusted by himself. Something had made the Empty reject him, give him back his life. But this was worse. He had broken Dean and now he's gonna have to see all of this. _Worse than hell._

"I love you too." A small voice, punctured with sobs cuts across the empty room and makes ot way right towards Castiel's heart, piercing into it. "You dumb son of a bitch, I love you too." 

Cas smiled and wiped away his own tears. Maybe his little hunter wasn't as broken as he thought. He didn't know what to say, not yet. He just wished that Dean would look at him. Just once, let his green eyes pierce into his own. 

Dean buried his head back into his arms and started crying again. _Why was he crying? Cas was here. He loved Cas. Why was he crying?_

With shaking hands, Cas reaches out and touches his shoulder, trying not to smudge his beautiful mark on Dean. Dean doesn't respond. Not a flinch, nothing. Cas can't take it anymore. He starts shaking Dean. By one shoulder, and then by both. Dean is not looking at him. _Why does he not see? Why does he not feel?_

"Dean!" Cas cries out, the tears on his face mirrored with Dean's. _If he would just look up.._

"He won't look." 

Cas whipped around at the cool voice. Meg, no, _Empty_ was standing in the middle of the room, a smug smile on their face. 

Cas stood up. "What did you do?" 

"I told you, Castiel. I would come take you when you are at your happiest." 

"Then why am I still here?" 

"Are you, Castiel? Are you still here? Because your little boy can't even see you or hear you." 

"I.. I don't understand." 

The Empty walked in lazy strides across the room. "I could have taken you in me. Let you sleep peacefully. I mean, not _peacefully_ as you would keep dreaming of all your regrets. But you will still be _sleeping_. And I can't take that." 

"What-" 

"You were the first being that managed to escape me. Right from under my nose. And I didn't take that insult kindly!" 

"We had a deal!" 

"Oh we had a deal, all right. I still took you. I am just not letting you _sleep_ , Castiel. I am gonna keep you awake, on this earth, with your favourite boy. But no one will see you or hear you. You see, this way, you can not only dream of all your regrets, you can live them." The Empty gave him a menacing smile. "You are gonna be nothing but empty." 

Cas felt the same pain in his heart that Billie had caused Dean an hour ago. He looked at the broken hunter curled within himself on the floor. _What has Cas done?_

"Please.." A single word, filled with pleading, came out of his mouth. 

"No use begging me, feathers. If only you had slept within me ages ago, you wouldn't be here now. Think about that." 

Cas lunged for them, but one snap of their fingers and they was gone. Cas screamed, begging the Empty to come back. 

"Please! Just take me!" He shouted. 

Behind him, Dean had found his own anger. "Come back, damnit. Come back, Cas!" He was screaming at the skies. 

Cas kept screaming too, his and Dean's voice resonating across the empty room, amplifying themselves in Castiel's ears. 

No one heard them that night.

  
**~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~**

  
Castiel had resigned himself with his fate. It's years. He has seen Chuck getting defeated, Jack gaining his powers, Sam marrying Eileen, them starting a new family of their own. Cas saw everything. He _felt_ everything. Their joys, their sorrows. Because while his presence was a void on this earth, the feelings inside him weren't. 

And the worst he felt was Dean. _Everything Dean_. He saw Dean crying on the floor the whole night, praying Cas to come back. He saw him put a drink in his hand and never putting it down. He saw Dean being restless every night, not a wink of sleep in his eyes, the same name muttered on his lips - _Castiel's_. 

He saw Dean defeating Chuck, sparing his life ( _That's not who I am._ ) That day, Cas felt proud. Then Dean got his little dog, and Cas felt happy. Maybe the hunter will be okay after all. Maybe he was finally trying to mend himself. 

And then, Dean was gone too. It was a nail, _a nail out of all things,_ that ended the legacy of Dean Winchester. Cas felt nothing that day. He never feels anything anymore.

He checks on Sam and Eileen once in a while. Other times, he travels the world, looking at lives of different people. But they are just a way to pass time. Because all these.. mortals can never hold a torch to Dean Winchester. Cas loves humanity, he really does. But not without Dean. He can easily trade the whole world to get Dean back. Even if Dean never looks at him again.

  
**~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•**

  
Cas sits on the lake where Dean once brought him, eons ago, or that's what it feels like. He stares at the sun drowning itself in the lake. It still amazes him. 

"There you are." A voice from behind him says. Cas doesn't look back. He doesn't have to. No one has addressed him in years. 

"Cas!" The name seems queer, almost of a stranger's. His brain doesn't register it. 

A hand on his shoulder and Cas flinches. He hasn't felt this in years - the sensation of touch. He turns around and there he is - his son smiling at him. 

"J.. Jack." Cas finds it hard to speak.

Jack smiles at him. "I have been looking for you." 

"Took you too long." Castiel had prayed to Jack for a long time, hoping he would bear him, but there was never any response. Cas finally gave up, thinking Jack doesn't care anymore. 

"The Empty.. they concealed you really hard. Even my powers couldn't work against them." 

"How did you find me now?" 

Jack shrugs. "Maybe they let their guard down. Or my powers finally came through."

For the first time in years, Cas smiles. "You can finally put me down to sleep." 

"Is that what you want?" 

"There is nothing for me on this earth." 

"Maybe not on earth, but we need you in heaven." 

"Heaven?" 

Jack smiles proudly. "I fixed it, Cas. Everyone is there. They are all happy."

"E.. everyone?" Cas asks, not daring to bring the name on his lips. 

"Everyone." Jack had understood. 

  
**~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~**

The sun shone on his face, illuminating him as the breeze hugged him gently. Castiel was in heaven. He was at home.

He sees a figure standing across him. Tall and dressed sharply. He looks more beautiful than ever. 

"Hey, buddy. You are here." 

Cas couldn't hold his tears as Dean Winchester pulled him into his arms. They don't say any words. Their lips meet and they drown in each other. It was over. Dean can finally see him. Dean can finally feel him.

_For the first time in his life, Castiel experiences true happiness._

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comments if you liked it ♥️


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